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Saptapadi: The seven vows of a vedic hindu wedding

For eons, the hindu marriage has been held up as model for stability. Yet increasingly, the hindu wedding ceremony is increasingly seen as the epitome of excess and conspicuous consumption embedded in Bollywood inspired dance, music and couture. Ironically, solemn ceremonies of marriage are often relegated to the background because few understand the words uttered and fewer seem to care. This is a travesty because at its core, the Vedic wedding is a dialogue between the bride and the groom, of soaring poetry, of solemn commitment, an initiation to the highest level of friendship, all spelt out in unflinching detail. In a previous post in 2016, I summarized the key rituals of a Vedic wedding. I will focus in this post on saptapadi.  First the verses सप्तपदी  , स्त्री, सप्तानां पदानां ममाहारः । (“द्विगोः ।” ४ । १ । २१ । इति ङीप् ।) इति व्याकरणम् ॥ विवाहाङ्ग सप्तपदी गमनं यथा । ततो जामाता प्रागुदीचीं गत्वा बधूं सप्तमिर्म्मन्त्रैः सप्तमण्डलिकासु सप्तपदानि नयेत् । बवृश्च दक्षिणपादं ...
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The taking of the hand in marriage: The most important sacrament of the Hindu wedding Of the seven core Vedic rituals that constitute a Hindu wedding, the most important is paaNigrahaNam or the taking of the bride's hand in marriage. Manu, the lawgiver, emphasizes the central role of the  paaNigrahaNam  in the Hindu wedding in the Manu Smriti पाणिग्र्हणिका  मन्त्रा नियतं दारलक्षणम् | तेषां  निष्ठा तु  विज्ञेया विद्वद्भि: सप्तमे पदे || 1️⃣ शब्दार्थ (शाब्दिक अर्थ) पाणिग्र्हणिका मन्त्रा  – पाणिग्रहण के मंत्र नियतं  – निश्चित रूप से दार‑लक्षणम्  – पति‑पत्नी (गृहस्थ) बनने का लक्षण / चिह्न तेषाम्  – उन (मंत्रों) की निष्ठा  – पूर्णता, दृढ़ता, अंतिम स्थापना तु  – ही / ही तो विज्ञेया  – जानी जाती है विद्वद्भिः  – विद्वानों द्वारा सप्तमे पदे  – सप्तपदी के सातवें चरण में 2️⃣ भावार्थ (सरल अर्थ) पाणिग्रहण के मंत्र यह बताते हैं कि वर‑वधू पति‑पत्नी बनने की प्रक्रिया में प्रवेश कर चुके हैं, लेकिन  विवाह की वास्तविक पूर...
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 Kanyadan: The giving of the daughter in holy matrimony There is much controversy about this rite. Is a bride mere chattel for her father to give away to whom he pleases? Whither agency and autonomy for an accomplished young woman? There is some substance in this angst. It is also true that society has been and largely remains patriarchal. I share the meaning of the phrases uttered during kanyadan. I share them not as an apologist for patriarchy but in the hope of providing some understanding that kanyadan was no mere gift, but a father's highest religious duty, one to ensure the perpetuation of dharma,  “In faith, with the divine as the witnesse, he gives his daughter for the salvation of his ancestors,  righteous conduct in society, and the continuation of the human race. For the duration of the ceremony, the groom is assigned the role of mahavishnu and the bride mahalakshmi, his eternal consort. When the goddess of prosperity, abundance, and auspiciousness is given to ...
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the maxim of the bee : भ्रमर न्याय:

 भ्रमर न्याय:  भ्रमर = the bee न्याय: = maxim The bee only takes nectar from everywhere. Similarly the wise person only takes good from all, no bitterness, anger or evil. Thus is the maxim of the bee
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Taking extradordinary steps to avoid something and end up AT what you are trying to avoid

  घट्ट-कुटी-प्रभात न्याय घट्ट= toll कुटी=cottage प्रभात = dawn न्याय=maxim The maxim of the toll cottage at dawn A Businessman wants to avoid paying toll, so he rides his cart all night in a ciRcUitoUs roUTe hopes of avoiding paying toll. When dawn breaks, he notices that his cart is right in front of the toll gate. Despite his strenuous effort to avoid something he ends up at what he was trying to avoid. This is the maxim of the toll booth at dawn
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How to word your boon ( or request or contract) to get the most out of it

Here is an example oF clever wording of a boon वृद्ध कुमारी वाक्य न्याय वृद्ध  = Old कुमारी = unmarried woman वाक्य =statement न्याय=maxim An old unmarried woman asks a boon thus: पुत्रा मे बहु-क्षीर-घृत्म् ओदनं  कांचन-पात्राभ्याम् भुञ्जीरन् पुत्रा =sons मे = my बहु= a lot OF क्षीर = milk घृत्म्  = ghee ओदनं = rice कांचन= golden पात्राभ्याम् = from two vessels भुञ्जीरन् = may they eat The olD woman cleverly asks the boon, " may my sons eat out of two golden vessels rice mixed with ghee. The boon if granted would mean 1. make the woman young ( and fertile) again 2. she will marry 3. She will have sons 4. Her sons will have plenty of nourishing food 5. They will be rich eating out of two golden vessels each Pretty Good in five word boon! pretty clever
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Of the seven core Vedic rituals that constitute a Hindu wedding, the most important is paaNigrahaNam or the taking of the bride's hand in marriage. Manu, the lawgiver, emphasizes the central role of the  paaNigrahaNam  in the Hindu wedding in the Manu Smriti पाणिग्र्हणिका  मन्त्रा नियतं दारलक्षणम् | तेषां  निष्ठा तु  विज्ञेया विद्वद्भि: सप्तमे पदे || The taking of the hand is undoubtedly the mark of wifehood, the culmination ( of the wedding ceremonies) is understood by the learned in the seventh step. This underscores the central nature of the taking of the hand and the seven steps to the Hindu wedding ceremonies.  So much so that the husband is referred to as the पाणिगृहितृ  (pANigrahItRu) or the taker of the hand. Notably, these two are among the seven elements of the wedding ceremony which are described by all the ancient authorities. Notably, saptapadi is different from the circumambulation of the fire, also ...
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